Top 10 Least Romantic Gifts

21 06 2009

Finally…the first worst list…and we thought that this one links to pretty much all of you…

Men make buying gifts for women an impossible task. Birthday’s, anniversaries and valentines days pop up and guys are clueless. They add extra pressure to the purchase, thinking no gift is good enough; they leave it all to the last minute. While terrible gifts can always be returned, the confused look on her face and feeling of disappointment will never go away. She will never let you live the moment down. Remember that one? So does she.

This could all be avoided if guys would just stop and think. A little guidance doesn’t hurt either. Here are 10 of the least romantic gifts a guy could buy a woman. Avoid them like Adnan Sami’s toilet.

10- Tools

Stop and think for a minute, does she really want a 4.6L twin-shaft ram jet pneumatic drill? Household items for chores, products for gardening or anything that will involve her breaking a sweat, means work. Work is never romantic. Unless you are a professional gigolo.

9-Cheap Jewllery

Jewelry is an incredibly romantic gift if — big if — you take the time to pick it out for her. It shows you are paying attention to her tastes. Its just pathetic to buy marked down shiney stuff that everyone else rejected. This is one of the least romantic gifts because it shows you have no originality, and thousands of other women will have the same necklace or bracelet as your girlfriend.

8-Workout Gear

She loves to work out, so the gift makes sense. Wrong. It doesn’t matter if her gym clothes are one wash away from disintegrating; buying workout gear is like saying: “Here is extra motivation to get your fat ass into the gym.” May the sweet Lord save your soul if you get the wrong size athletic bra or spandex pants. It goes without saying that exercise equipment is also one of the least romantic gifts — ever.

7-Gift Certificate

A gift certificate is a great way to say: “I know nothing about you, so here; go buy yourself something from a store I think girls like you would shop in.” It also takes roughly three minutes for the entire gift certificate transaction. Do you really want your girlfriend or wife thinking you spent three minutes on her gift?

6-Self Help Books

Sure she’d love to control her temper, be more outgoing in social situations or learn to meditate, but these are personal battles she’d rather fight on her own terms and through her own methods. She doesn’t want the one she loves to present her with a book to solve all her problems. Regardless of whatever personal issues she needs to work through, she doesn’t need to be reminded of them on her birthday or on your anniversary.

5-A Pet

Ignore those commercials and movies where the man surprises a woman with an adorable puppy or a cuddly little kitten. While a pet is an incredibly cute gift, it’s also a huge responsibility — which is why it’s one of the least romantic gifts, when you think about all the work a pet entails. A puppy needs training, love and attention. Plus the added bills — veterinarian, food, toys, and a ton of other things that might stretch her wallet. If you get her a pet, you can forget about having sex for a while. Not in front of Mr. Waffles. He‘s watching.

4-Stuffed Animal

Here is a great rule of thumb when buying a woman a romantic gift: Stop and ask yourself if this is something you would have done for a girl when you were 12 years old. If the answer is yes, it’s one of the least romantic gifts you can get her. Unless your partner is in high school, or insane, a stuffed animal is tacky. Especially the kind that come with sets of perfume, chocolates or any product that doesn’t need a stuffed monkey to make a sale. Flowers are incredibly romantic. Flowers held by a dog with a heart on his chest that says “I RUFF YOU” is a crime against common sense punishable by a swift punch in the nuts.

3-A Joke gift

The joke gift is funny — for the first three minutes. Usually just to the guy. Then the giggling subsides (seriously, stop giggling) and she is left with a fish that sings or a mug that says “Work Sucks” when you push the button on the handle. Then this least romantic gift is a dust collector.

2-Sexy Lingerie

It seems like a good idea, right? Something sexy for the bedroom for her, something sexy for the bedroom for you, too. Unfortunately, men and women are miles apart in the lingerie-buying department. Women want sexy yet practical. Men head straight for the Wild West hooker department. Hmmm…

1-Porn

When buying a romantic gift, if it’s something your best friend would also find awesome, put it back. Some women do like to peek into a bit of on-screen action, but its not something they want to watch constantly. And it’s definitely not something she wants to keep on a shelf with her other DVDs.

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