7 Pickup Rules Women Want Men To Know

3 07 2009

Couple Dating - Credit: iStockphoto.com

Ever wonder why some guys are so much better than others at picking up women? It’s not because they’re better looking, smarter or have deeper pockets. However, they probably have two characteristics that work in their favor: confidence and persistence.

While some men might have these characteristics naturally, you don’t need to have been born a Daniel Craig in order to be successful at picking up women. You do, however, need to follow a few important guidelines.

Below are seven pickup rules women want men to know, and knowing them will give you a huge edge on the competition. These dating rules will not only increase your success rate with women, they will allow you to sweep them off their feet with your new self-assured, gentlemanly attitude.

1- Make eye contact before the approach
Want an easy way to gauge if your approach will be successful? Try making preliminary eye contact from a distance and see how she responds. If she holds your gaze — or even better, if she smiles — go talk to her. If she avoids your gaze, on the other hand, your chances are slim. Also, don’t forget to do your “research.” Survey the area and you’ll notice which women are looking to meet someone.

As obvious as it may seem, a woman who is looking around at men in the room is probably going to be more receptive than a woman who is only paying attention to the friends she came with. Remember this: A woman divulges a lot in her body language, so if you want to increase your odds, pay attention. Making and receiving her eye contact is among the most important pickup rules women want men to know.

2- Don’t express interest in both her & her friends
Hitting on more than one woman in the same social circle is a real deal-breaker. Not only will it make you seem like a player, but you are forgetting one important factor: In order to successfully pick up a woman, you have to make her feel special. Hitting on or expressing interest in her friends will certainly not make her feel special. So even though you might be attracted to more than one woman in the group, pick a woman and stick with her. The alternative is that you’ll be going home alone.

2- Make her feel like she’s the hottest woman in the world

Often, a woman will go for a man for only one reason: how he makes her feel. So if you make her feel like the most beautiful girl in the room, chances are she’ll want to see you again. This will work in your favor in the long run too; if she’s confident and comfortable with you, you’ll reap the benefits in all aspects of the relationship. This rule does come with one warning clause: Skip it if she appears to have a big ego already, as you don’t need to over-inflate it.
4- Don’t avoid complimenting her if you think she’s heard it all before
In other words, don’t avoid approaching her in the beginning and complimenting her later because you think you’re not the first to do so. You might think that it’s not worth your while to approach that beautiful girl standing in the corner. You probably assume that she has had umpteen guys chat her up before you. But consider this: Most guys think that very same thing. Often, the prettiest girls get their share of cat-calls on the street, but they don’t get approached much by nice, genuine guys. So don’t be intimidated or assume she’s heard it all before. Instead, if you keep it simple, she just may be grateful for some pleasant, sincere conversation.

2- Don’t use cliche, pre-packaged pickup lines
Never, ever do this. Using a cliche line will do one of two things: It will either make you look like you’re trying too hard or it will make you seem inexperienced with women (which is even worse). Instead, keep it simple and just try to be sincere. You’ll cut through the formalities and stand out from all the men who do use lines on women — and yes, there are many who still do.

6- Approach her in places other than bars and nightclubs
In a bar or a nightclub, a woman is used to being approached by men, and she’ll have her guard up. What this means is that she may reject you simply because you approached her right after a man who annoyed her, or because you were last in a long line of men to talk to her. Furthermore, in nightclubs, as women are expecting to be picked up, they form a defensive shield against unwanted men. This will obviously work against you.

If you approach her in other places, though, you have the element of surprise to your advantage. In a supermarket or a coffee shop, for example, she won’t be expecting to get picked up and might be pleasantly surprised by your gesture. Having said all that, do be mindful of approaching a woman who is shopping in sweatpants and appears in a rush — she probably won’t make the best audience.

2- Know when to walk away
Repeat this to yourself before you go in for a pick up: There is nothing worse than a clingy guy. Reading her body language is not only important to gauge when she’s interested, but also to determine when to walk away.

For example, is she giving you eye contact or are her eyes wandering around the room? Does she look bored by the conversation? If you are giving her your best, most sincere maneuvers, and she is still not responding, then cut your losses and move on.

What if she is giving you all the good signs? You still shouldn’t overstay your welcome. If you leave the conversation on a high note, you’ll only leave her wanting more


follow the dating rules

Remember that even the most successful pickup artists get rejected sometimes. But here’s the secret to their success: Despite constant rejections, they continue to approach women. Call it being thick-skinned or just plain persistent, but a certain amount of it is required in this department.

So take a lesson and don’t let yourself get down because of the odd rejection. Often, a woman’s rejection will have nothing to do with you at all — she may be in a bad mood, or seeing someone already, for example. However, if you stick to the rules above, your odds of success — as well as your collection of phone numbers — will soar. Happy hunting.



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