The Origin of the Swine Flu

18 07 2009

*Cough*Cough*

Haha. We thought you’d say that.

Yes. Swine Flu it is.

For some reason, ever since an outbreak of the so called ‘H1N1’ strain, everything has turned to swine flu.

If you have a cold, you have swine flu.

If you have a cough, you have swine flu.

If you dont even show the symptons of influenza, you still have swine flu.

Moreover, if you have AIDS, you have swine flu.

But the media seems to have taken a strong hold of the idea, quoting doctors have said-

wash your hands regularly

if you are sick, stay inside

and lastly, dont fuck pigs.

Thats probabily not going to give you swine flu, but still, dont fuck pigs.

But it seems that this scenario has been blown way out of proportion. AHR takes a look as to why this Swine Flu pandemic, is really nothing to worry about.

-Symptoms

The most important factor of any disease is probabily the symptoms and mortality. The Swine flu, as obvious, is similar to other influenza viruses. Symptoms include fever, coughing, headaches, muscular pain, chills and fatigue. Diarrhea and vomiting have also been reported. These symptoms are extremely mild, and rarely require medical attention.


-Actual Deaths

As of May 27, 2009, from the 342 confirmed cases in New York City, there have been only 23 confirmed deaths from the virus. This is over a period of two months. Within New York alone, more than 110 people die from road accidents every day. After WHO’s so called ‘panic alarm’, officials reported that most of the deaths caused by the Swine Flu are actually due to underlying medical conditions. Another important factor is that the largest ratio of deaths were of ‘immunosupressed’ individuals, who can even die from a mere cold.

-Media

Ratings. Just for ratings, the media has spread the word of this ‘horrible disease’ to such an extent; that people actually might believe them. Well, they shouldnt. Because its bullshit. BBC, CNN, NDTV. All they are doing is spreading fear and mis-information to the uninformed drones of our society.

-History Repeats Itself

In 1976, there was a similar panic created by the American Government about a ‘Swine Flu’ epidemic. Physicians at that time were highly against the idea, but the Government proceeded to inoculate everybody, as save the world. The instinct of the people against the idea was correct. 25 people died from the vaccine, which was later deemed unsafe and suspended from production. Meanwhile, only 1 period died from the ‘Swine Flu’, compared to the 25 who lost their lives to a shitty vaccine. And that person had a heart condition.

-Seasonal Flu

All fingers are being pointed at the this Swine flu being the same as any other seasonal flu. But lets see what happens. Tomorrow, it might mutate and turn everyone into zombies. Who knows?

The odds of you getting Swine Flu are the exact same odds of you getting struck by lightning while being inside a tornado. Unless, ofcourse, you fuck pigs. Then you probabily have Swine Flu. And AIDS. But lets not go there.

But a question posed by a reader was, where did Swine Flu come from? AHR searches high and low to reach the conclusion:

The Origin of the Swine Flu

This is how it all began. . .

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2 responses

18 07 2009
bandra

that baby lol

awsome post AHR!

18 07 2009
The Origin of the Swine Flu | swine flu pandemic

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