Dont Wear These Suits…Unless

26 07 2009

Ever felt like being shot in the face?

We didn’t either.

God made suits, tuxedoes and dinner jackets for the classy. But sometimes, when a certain few people, who are absolutely not classy, get their hands on suits…they kill it. For all of us. It looks bad, they had shitty side-parted gelled hair and uneven chest hair…. it just doesnt seem right.

AHR is here to save the day. Follow this guide to stay alive, because if you roam the streets with these bad-boys on, you face will soon be connecting with a 9mm hollow point semi-automatic bullet round.

The Embroidered

Just no. It is not Diwali. It is not your wedding. You do NOT have a lehnga on. Just dont wear Embroidered suits. They’re cheezy, look shit and are possibly gay.

You can wear them, ofcourse, if you are an 18th Century Sea Faring Pirate.

The Checkered

Hey, they were cool back in the day. But now, in 2009, NO. You are not 48. You do NOT have a bottle of Scotch in your hand. You do NOT own multiple racehorses.

You can wear them, ofcourse, if you are a Kilt Wearing Psuedo-Scotsman who needs his checkered cloth fix 24/7.


A 5 Button

In the 20th Century, Double Brested  suits were in. But some people thought that it would be very awesome! to take it to the next level. Oh come on! Do you have a bullet proof jacket underneath? Do you really need to wear your Grandfathers suit from the First World War? Then please, for the love of God, dont wear these.

You can wear these, of course, if you are a WW2 Nazi Waffen Schutzstaffel Commander.

A Pimp Suit

Put your collar back in!. No we do NOT want to see your chest hair. You’re not going to get chicks if you wear shirts with massive collars and fold them out. Consequently, white suits dont help. So have mercy.

You can wear them, ofcourse, if you are a Pimp, and are looking for some hookers.

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2 responses

28 07 2009
akon

hahahhaaa
fukin classic

28 07 2009
jkp

godamn i hate guys who wear their dad’s suits

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